From Sorrow to Strength: 4 Empowering Strategies to Heal a Broken Heart
Notes from the podcast:
Endings are hard. The conclusion of a relationship, whether it fizzles out or comes to a sudden halt, brings a wave of emotions that can leave us feeling lost, lonely, and engulfed in pain. The ache of loss can feel unbearable, prompting a desperate search for a way to make it stop. Yet, the journey through heartache is not about clinging to familiar suggestions or remedies but embracing a new perspective that promises healing and growth.
The Pain of Loss
We often find ourselves adrift in a sea of emotions when a relationship ends. Feelings of sadness, depression, and a profound sense of being alone can overwhelm us. The loss shakes the very foundation of our identity, leaving us questioning who we are without the other person. It’s a moment when everything seems unclear, and the future lacks purpose or direction.
A Promise of Healing
In this exploration, we delve into specific strategies to heal your heart, offering insights and guidance that are unique and previously unshared. The journey of healing invites us to view our experience through a different lens, one that transforms pain into a stepping stone towards a brighter, more fulfilled future.
Seeing It For What It Was
Embracing Reality
The initial step in healing is confronting the reality of the situation. It’s natural to be in denial, unwilling to accept that the relationship has ended. Many find themselves playing detective, searching for clues or explanations that might offer a semblance of hope. However, fixating on specific reasons for the breakup is a mirage; it obscures the bigger picture.
Understanding Closure
Closure comes from recognizing that the end of the relationship was not a decision made lightly. It was a necessary step, signaling that the relationship, despite its moments, was not meant to last. Accepting that great relationships rarely fail but bad ones do — and should — is crucial. This understanding paves the way for acknowledging our role in the relationship and the importance of aligning with a partner who truly complements us.
Seeing It For What It Can Be
The Power of Reframing
Viewing the end of a relationship as a lesson rather than a loss opens up a world of possibilities. This perspective encourages us to find gratitude in rejection and to see our experiences as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Embracing the present moment, even in pain, can transform our lives, guiding us toward becoming better versions of ourselves and, eventually, finding a partner truly suited for us.
Your Time to Shine
Embrace Being Happily Single
The period following a breakup is a time for self-discovery and reinvention. Rediscovering who you were before the relationship and exploring new interests and hobbies can be incredibly liberating. This is a time to invest in yourself through physical activities, learning new skills, or simply updating your style. It’s an opportunity to reset and start anew, guided by the insights gained from your past experiences.
Take the Time You Need
The Importance of Patience
Healing is not instantaneous. It requires patience, intentionality, and time, like climbing out of a deep hole. Progress should be measured not by the absence of pain but by the reduction of it. Rushing into new relationships or seeking quick fixes often leads to repeating past mistakes. True healing allows for developing new, healthier relationships built on the lessons learned from past experiences.
Conclusion
While painful, the end of a relationship offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. By seeing the situation for what it was and can be, embracing the chance to reset, and allowing ourselves the time to heal, we can emerge stronger, more resilient, and ready for the love we truly deserve. The journey through heartache is not easy, but patience and a new perspective can lead to a brighter, more fulfilling future.
Notes from the podcast: Endings are hard. The conclusion of a relationship, whether it fizzles out or comes to a sudden halt, brings a wave of emotions that can leave us feeling lost, lonely, and engulfed in pain. The ache of loss can feel unbearable, prompting a desperate search for a way to make it…
Breaking up can feel like an end to your world as you know it. Everything around you – from the music you hear to the shows you watch – reminds you of your ex. It’s a challenge even to recognize who you are without them. But what if there’s a better way to heal and move on?
The Trap of Bad Love Advice
Often, well-meaning friends and family offer advice like “just move on” or suggest jumping back into dating. However, rebound relationships are rarely helpful and can be unfair to the new partner. Instead, let’s explore some science-based strategies that focus on trying differently, not just trying harder.
#1. Reflect & Recognize: Understanding What Went Wrong
Instead of focusing on specific qualities of your ex – whether good or bad – shift your focus to the relationship dynamics. How did you interact? Did you feel respected, supported, and communicated with? Remember, the early stages of a relationship are often misleading. Focus on the more recent, realistic aspects instead of clinging to the ‘best’ moments.
#2. Give Yourself the Gift of Closure
Waiting for closure from your ex is often futile. If they’re unresponsive or sporadically in touch, it’s a sign that they’re not as invested. To help yourself:
Write a letter to your ex, but don’t send it.
Write a letter to yourself from their perspective.
Make a bulleted list of why the relationship didn’t work.
Note what you need differently in your next relationship.
These exercises provide catharsis and clarity, helping you understand that the closure you seek is already within you.
#3. Done is Done: The Art of Letting Go
Avoid social media stalking, as research shows it prolongs pain. Don’t settle for a ‘just friends’ relationship if it’s not mutually beneficial. Remember, returning to an ex often leads to repeating the same issues.
The 21-Day Heart Detox:
Research suggests it takes 66 days to form a new habit. Start with a 21-day detox from your ex. Use this time to focus on creating the life you want for yourself.
Notes from the Podcast: Breaking up can feel like an end to your world as you know it. Everything around you – from the music you hear to the shows you watch – reminds you of your ex. It’s a challenge even to recognize who you are without them. But what if there’s a better…
Breakups have evolved in the digital age, making it more challenging than ever before. With social media and texting, reminders of an ex can be constant, intensifying the pain of separation.
As a relationship evolves as a couple, your lives and identities become increasingly intertwined. Shared activities, friends, family, and even finances shape your identities as a couple and as individuals. When a breakup occurs, the loss of identity often becomes a huge problem many are ill-prepared to deal with.
Therefore, it makes sense that regaining your identity after a breakup is an incredible opportunity for growth that will get you back on track.
Here are the five crucial steps to heal your heart after a breakup:
#1. Declutter Your Digital Space. To kickstart your healing process, begin by unfollowing, muting, or even blocking your ex on social media. Remove constant reminders from your digital world. At home, declutter physical reminders such as mementos and photos, making space for new memories and a fresh start.
#2. Systematically Find Your Support System. Breakups can leave you feeling isolated, so it’s essential to surround yourself with a proper support system. Be intentional about reaching out to the RIGHT friends, family, or groups that WILL support you on this transition. Talking through your emotions and gaining different perspectives can be incredibly healing. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help, such as therapy, if needed.
#3. Focus on Your Biological Needs. Taking care of your body is paramount during a breakup. Prioritize sleep, ensuring you maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Lack of rest can exacerbate emotional distress. Eat well, as a healthy diet stabilizes mood and energy levels. Hydration is also crucial for overall health and cognitive function.
#4. Engage in Flow Activities. Immerse yourself in activities that absorb your attention completely. Flow activities, where you forget the world around you, can provide solace from post-breakup thoughts. This might be pursuing a hobby, sports, a new project, or meeting new people. Find what captures your focus and allows you to be in the moment.
#5. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone. Healing often involves breaking your routine and trying new things. Venture outside of your comfort zone by traveling to new places, taking up a class, or changing your daily routine for the better. Learning a new skill or revamping your wardrobe can help you redefine your identity, separate from your past relationship.
Remember, healing takes time and patience. Avoid rushing back into a relationship until you’ve redefined your identity. By following these steps and focusing on personal growth, you can overcome the challenges of heartbreak in the digital age.
Breakups have evolved in the digital age, making it more challenging than ever before. With social media and texting, reminders of an ex can be constant, intensifying the pain of separation. As a relationship evolves as a couple, your lives and identities become increasingly intertwined. Shared activities, friends, family, and even finances shape your identities…
Are you tired of falling into the same pattern of dating charismatic but toxic partners? The allure of a confident and charming individual can be hard to resist, but it often leads to a rollercoaster ride of power plays and blame games. So, why do some people seem more prone to attracting these time bomb personalities? In this article, we’ll delve into the reasons behind this pattern and provide a simple strategy to help you avoid this trap.
The Painful Cycle:
Narcissists possess qualities that society often deems desirable, such as attractiveness and high status. Research even suggests that narcissists tend to be more physically appealing on average. They thrive on admiration and seek partners who will constantly validate their egos. However, what begins as an amazing experience quickly turns into a nightmare. You may find yourself betrayed and questioning your own worth, as friends and others continue to perceive your partner as great.
Why This Happens:
There are two key reasons why you may keep ending up with narcissists.
#1. You’re Too Nice – If you’re someone who easily finds the good in others and constantly showers them with positive affirmations, you’re inadvertently fulfilling their desires. Narcissists are less inclined towards emotional intimacy and seek partners who admire and idolize them.
#2. You’re Vulnerable – Past traumas, negative relationship experiences, attachment styles, and low self-confidence can make you more susceptible to their toxicity. Unfortunately, this vulnerability may lead you to tolerate their behavior and even blame yourself for their actions. Additionally, your kind and nurturing nature may make it difficult for you to see their true colors, as you are inclined to make excuses and believe you can fix them.
You May Be Just Like Them:
Here’s some tough love: it’s possible that you attract narcissists because you possess narcissistic tendencies yourself. Recent research has shown that individuals with high levels of narcissism tend to be in relationships with partners who also exhibit narcissistic traits. On the other hand, those with lower levels of narcissism tend to be with less narcissistic partners. Interestingly, narcissistic women tend to score higher on intelligence tests but overestimate their own intelligence.
Why This Dynamic Occurs:
When you emit narcissistic energy, you are likely to attract similar energy. People are naturally drawn to others who validate and normalize their own behaviors, making them feel less flawed. If you have some narcissistic tendencies, finding someone even more narcissistic than you might alleviate your guilt and provide a sense of reassurance. Moreover, the trophy partner syndrome comes into play, where your intertwined identities reflect positively on you, bolstering your self-image.
A Strategy for Change:
To break free from this cycle, it’s crucial to recognize the neediness behind narcissism. Narcissists constantly crave admiration, attention, and validation. This neediness is unattractive, and instead, you should seek a partner who exudes self-confidence. Consider focusing on traits like kindness, caring, and support. Are they generous with others? Can they be vulnerable? Asking questions that probe their vulnerability can reveal insights into their emotional depth and authenticity.
Signs to Look Out For:
Optimize for different and better qualities in potential partners. Watch out for signs of entitlement, a need for control, constant victimhood, or stories of being treated unfairly. These traits reflect a loser mentality and may indicate toxic patterns. Instead, seek partners who exhibit genuine kindness, humility, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
Conclusion:
Don’t allow yourself to be an easy target for narcissists. Shift your focus from collecting trophies to seeking genuine connection and compatibility. Recognize the neediness inherent in narcissistic personalities and avoid the allure of their charm. Remember, strong individuals attract strong partners, while broken people tend to attract more brokenness. Choose wisely and prioritize healthy relationships built on mutual respect, kindness, and support.
Final Thought:
Remember that self-awareness and self-love are essential as you embark on a journey to find fulfilling and meaningful connections. Embrace your strengths and work towards personal growth, enabling you to attract partners who bring out the best in you.
Are you tired of falling into the same pattern of dating charismatic but toxic partners? The allure of a confident and charming individual can be hard to resist, but it often leads to a rollercoaster ride of power plays and blame games. So, why do some people seem more prone to attracting these time bomb…
Studies show that a lack of respect is one of the main predictors of a breakup.
So, what is the definition of respect? Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
When you are genuinely respected, you will feel appreciated, seen, and safe in the relationship. On the other hand, when you are disrespected, you may feel wary, angry, and resentful. Love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect. Here are eight signs that he doesn’t respect you, and if so, say that magical four-letter word: NEXT!
#1 He Ignores Your Boundaries.
Healthy relationships are all about establishing and respecting one another’s boundaries, which can be physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and time-related. Research has found that discomfort caused by boundary violations can lead to anxiety and other kinds of fallout in our personal and professional relationships. He may not come right out and say he doesn’t care, respect, or value your boundaries, but he will playfully push you on them or joke around (“aww come on, don’t be a prude”). Things said jokingly like this aren’t jokes.
#2 He Lies
It shows that he doesn’t care about how his actions impact your life and is only thinking about himself. Even small white lies can be harmful.
#3 He Cheats on You
If he cheats on you, he doesn’t love you because it’s the ultimate disrespect. Emotional cheating counts too, and if he has cheated in the past, say NEXT!
#4 He Weaponizes Your Feelings
In a relationship, you should feel safe enough to open up, share deep thoughts and experiences, and lean on your partner for comfort and support. If your partner takes the things you share and throws them back in your face — whether it’s to hurt you, win an argument, or for any other reason — it’s a major red flag.
#5 He Verbally Abuses You During an Argument
Take note of how your partner acts when you’re in a fight. Screaming, shouting, name-calling, mocking, and getting in your face are all signs of disrespect. Listening, trying to understand your perspective/point of view, and taking ownership of his actions are signs of respect. Also, more subtle things like being condescending, mocking, or speaking poorly about you to others (even in a joking way) are signs of disrespect.
#6 He Constantly Interrupts You When You’re Talking
If he constantly interrupts you when you try to speak, it shows he thinks what he has to say is more important than your thoughts. He doesn’t respect what you offer, which is rude. It shows he believes he’s superior to you, and it’s poor communication.
#7 He’s Controlling
Seventhly, if he’s controlling, it’s a sign that you lack privacy and independence. Do you have to explain where you’re going and who will be there? Does he always check your phone or open your mail or journal? That’s unacceptable!
#8 He Makes Big Decisions Without You
Lastly, a relationship is a team. You have to discuss big things when it comes to spending a chunk of money or having family stay over for an extended period of time.
About the Author:
Adam LoDolce is the CEO and Founder of http://LoveStrategies.com and is dedicated to helping successful single women find lasting love. With years of experience in coaching, Adam has discovered the transformative power of embracing feminine energy in the dating process. Through his proven strategies, he has guided numerous individuals to attract high-value partners and build meaningful relationships.
Studies show that a lack of respect is one of the main predictors of a breakup. So, what is the definition of respect? Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. When you are genuinely respected, you will feel appreciated, seen, and safe in the…
8 Steps to Getting Over Your Ex And Living Your Life Again
If you’re wondering how to deal with a breakup, I want you to know you are not alone, and we’ve all been there.
But rather than trying to win your ex back, I want you to focus on winning yourself back today. Here’s how to get over your ex and live your magnificent life again.
#1. Cut All Contact with Your Ex
Research shows that staying friends with an ex can lead to depression, jealousy, heartbreak, and difficulty finding a new romantic partner. Unless there are fundamental reasons for contact, it’s best to cut all ties. Give yourself the gift of closure by removing them from your phone contacts and blocking them on social media.
#2. Process Your Emotions
Allow yourself to feel the range of emotions associated with a breakup, including acceptance, shock, grief, pain, and sadness. While it’s important to acknowledge and process these emotions, don’t let them consume you. Also, focus on the positive aspects of your healing journey, such as independence, growth, wisdom, and opportunity.
#3. Consider Working with a Therapist or Coach
Seeking professional guidance can provide valuable insight and support during this challenging time. Therapists can help you delve into your past to understand yourself better, while coaches offer strategic guidance for moving forward and taking action. Both avenues can be beneficial, and having both a therapist and a coach can be the best option.
#4. Make Peace with the Past
Let go of the past and forgive your ex for your own sake. Clear out physical reminders of the relationship and consider redecorating your home to create a new environment. Avoid stalking your ex on social media, as it hinders the healing process and prevents personal growth.
#5. Treat Yourself with Kindness
Focus on self-care by eating well, exercising, and practicing positive self-talk. Prioritize quality sleep, indulge in relaxing activities, meditate, unplug from technology, and engage in activities that bring you joy. Treating yourself kindly and compassionately is crucial during this healing process.
#6. Pour Your Energy into Something Else
Rediscover and embrace the aspects of yourself that may have been neglected during the relationship. Focus on your career, friendships, hobbies, or side hustles. You will regain confidence and rebuild your self-worth by directing your energy toward personal growth and accomplishments.
#7. Plan Fun and Exciting Activities
Schedule enjoyable activities each week to have something to look forward to. Engage in new, interesting, challenging, and exciting experiences that expand your sense of self. This will help combat feeling out of control and enhance your overall well-being.
#8. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Choose to spend time with positive, uplifting individuals who can support and inspire you. Reconnect with loved ones and avoid isolating yourself. Building a supportive community will provide the encouragement and positivity you need during this healing process.
Remember, healing from heartbreak takes time, but with these strategies, you can reclaim your power and move forward with confidence. Throughout this journey, know that you are not alone, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
If you’re wondering how to deal with a breakup, I want you to know you are not alone, and we’ve all been there. But rather than trying to win your ex back, I want you to focus on winning yourself back today. Here’s how to get over your ex and live your magnificent life again.…
How to Stop Missing Your Ex & Embrace New Beginnings
It’s easy to tell someone to quit moping around and move on after a breakup, but everything is heaps harder when it’s you going through it. The wound still runs deep, you convince yourself you’ll never find happiness or love again, and even getting out of bed in the morning feels like a mission.
You’d love nothing more than to stop missing him, but it’s not as easy as clicking your fingers and erasing months, years, or even decades worth of memories. You’ve lost your best friend, he’s not coming back, and that absence can be crippling.
So, if you’ve just broken up and you’re wondering how to stop missing your ex, I won’t sugarcoat it and tell you that everything will magically be better after reading this article. But here are some tips that will help you move on in time, regain control of your life, and find your way to happiness and love again.
How to stop missing your ex in 15 steps
1. Resist the urge to contact him
Number one on the list of things to stop missing your ex is to cut all contact with him. In the short term, it might make you feel better messaging him, hearing his voice on the phone, or even having breakup sex. The natural thing to do when you miss someone is to reach out. But in the long run? You’re keeping him in your mind and heart and making it even harder to stop missing him.
If you have been in touch since the breakup, it’s unfair to ghost him. So reach out one last time and explain that you’re going to end contact, why you need to, and why this will be better for both of you. This doesn’t have to be permanent. Once you have both moved on, there is a possibility you can go back to being in each other’s lives or even remain friends. But right now, the best thing you can do for yourself is to end contact with him. And yes, that also means no more hearts or fire emojis on Instagram.
2. Allow yourself to feel all your emotions
Yes, you should try and remain strong during and in the aftermath of a breakup. But “being strong” does not mean pretending not to feel grief, pain, or loneliness. Being able to confront these emotions requires courage. If you ignore or repress your feelings and tell yourself you’re okay, those emotions will only fester and grow. You can’t run from how you feel; the only way to overcome emotions is to move through them.
So embrace all your feelings, whether anger, grief, heartache, sadness, loneliness, loss or something else. When you do, you’ll feel a release. Journaling can help a lot. A study of 73 people found that journaling for 20 minutes each day about the breakup helped participants feel less resentment and guilt and care less about their ex.
3. Join a community
Here’s how to stop missing your ex: join our Love Accelerator community. It’s a strong online community of women where you can connect with and feel supported by powerful, like-minded women who have been through similar experiences.
Even before you’re ready to start dating again, being surrounded by empowered women will help you see that this breakup is not the end; it’s just the end of one chapter and the beginning of a beautiful new one.
4. Reflect why you’re missing your ex
Okay, so you miss him. But why?
Was it how he made you feel less alone when you went to sleep at night?
Was it the thoughtful things he used to do for you, like bring you a cup of coffee every morning just the way you like it?
Or was it the attention and validation he gave you?
When you get clear on what you actually miss, you might find that it’s not him you miss at all.
Even if you were in a toxic or abusive relationship, it could still be normal to think you miss that person when they’re gone. But of course, you don’t miss him. Why would you miss someone treating you so badly or a relationship that wasn’t working? It’s likely what you miss is having someone there and the habit of the relationship.
If you do miss your ex, you will feel it.
5. Consider working with a therapist
If feeling your emotions and journaling on them isn’t getting you anywhere, and you’re struggling, it might be time to enlist professional help.
Honestly, even if you’re not going through a breakup, therapy can be enlightening and help you work through some childhood trauma or baggage you didn’t even know was lurking in your subconscious. We should all go to therapy.
Working with a licensed therapist you feel comfortable with and sharing your feelings without fear of bias or judgment can be a brilliant way to process your emotions. A therapist can also offer more insight and clarity on why you feel the way you do, the cause of the breakdown of the relationship, and help you heal some old wounds and toxic patterns that are holding you back from the right man and relationship.
Talking to your best friends about the breakup is great, but how can you be sure they’re not telling you what you want to hear, like, “sure Jenna, it’s totally fine to drunk text him at 1 AM and indulge in a bit of healthy breakup sex, I always do that…”
When in doubt, go to therapy.
6. Think about why things didn’t work out
When two people break up, it’s because something happened that meant you couldn’t work things out and see a future together. When you feel sad and lonely, it’s easy to look back through rose-tinted glasses and rewrite the story of your relationship. But to stop missing your ex, you need to focus on what drove you apart. There must have been some bad, irreparable things; otherwise, you’d still be together, right?
Sure, a small percentage of people break up, make up, and live happily ever after. But that’s a minority of people. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself and focusing on the John-shaped hole in your life, focus on why it didn’t work out, why he’s not right for you.
It’s equally important to learn from your past relationship to avoid repeating the same mistakes in your next one. This is what life is all about. And as long as you do learn and grow, there’s nothing to regret or feel down about.
7. Focus on the positives of ending the relationship
Toward the end of your relationship, were you constantly fighting and having more bad days than good ones? Were you on totally different pages about what you wanted and what was important? Did the trust or love erode over time? Was he holding you back from your career goals or making you feel bad for being ambitious and pursuing your dreams?
Next time you find yourself missing your ex, focus on everything that wasn’t working. Remind yourself of the positives of the breakup and being out of that relationship. This is your chance to start over, build a better relationship than the last one, and align it with the life you want to live.
It’s easy to dwell on the negatives, but when you’re in a funk, do your best to find something positive about this situation and focus on it until that gray cloud dissolves.
8. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him
How will you stop missing your ex when he’s sitting in all your photo frames around the house, staring back at you while you devour that chicken pot pie at dinner?
There’s no time like now to get rid of any loud reminders of your ex, whether it’s a screensaver on your phone, a password that reminds you of him, photos on the wall, a piece of jewelry, or any other mementos of your relationship.
I’m not a heartless b*stard, so I won’t tell you to light a bonfire and burn all that sh*t up. That’s optional. But I will ask you to decide what is too sentimental to throw away, put it all in a box, and put that box in your basement or into storage where you won’t see it for a long time. You’ll stumble on it five or ten years from now, and it’ll be a cute blast from the past. But right now, the wound is too fresh, so all that sh*t needs to go.
9. Give yourself time
I know you’re probably sick of people telling you “time heals all wounds” at this point, but as cliché as it sounds, it’s true. There isn’t much that time doesn’t heal. And while you might struggle to believe that things will get better, I promise you they will.
Although we can feel distressed for a long time after a breakup, it will get easier in time, and we have seen this to be true with all our clients. So even if it feels like you miss your ex more than ever, trust that you have to go through this darkness before you get to the light.
I can’t give you a timeline for when you’ll have moved on because all relationships and all people are different. Take things one day at a time, focus on getting through them, and make today a good day in whatever small ways you can.
10. Add structure to your life
Yes, there are times to binge-watch Netflix and do too many tequila shots with your girlfriends. But while these may be tried and tested activities that keep your mind off your ex and make you feel good in the moment, they aren’t positively contributing to your growth. You need to fill your days with things that feel good in the moment that your future self will thank you for – like trying out a new yogalates class, volunteering at your local homeless shelter, or doing a meal plan and grocery shop for the week ahead.
Think about your week in chunks of time. A week is 168 hours. Unless you’re retired, you probably spend a lot of time at work (about 40) and another large chunk sleeping (about 50 hours). That leaves you with 70 hours each week. If you have kids to take care of, even less. And if you’re not intentional about planning out those hours each week, they will run away from you (on things like watching sad rom-coms, gorging on chocolate, and missing your ex), and you won’t have much to show for it.
Think about how you want to use this time, and start allocating it each week to things that add value to your life.
11. Channel your energy into things you love
Here’s how to finally stop missing your ex – every time you start missing him, put a timer on, and start adding up all the time you’re wasting on this guy who:
a. You broke up with
b. Who broke up with you
Whether it was scenario a or b doesn’t matter. What matters is you are not together anymore, and it’s time to move on. Redirect all this energy into things that bring you joy and make you feel good. You can only do something you love for so long with a frown before something kicks in and you realize you’re actually happy.
It’s time to focus all your energy on things that lift you up, inspire you, and help you rediscover who you are. Maybe you want to get stuck into a big project at work and go after a promotion. Maybe you want to embark on a spontaneous trip to Italy for a month or attend a meditation retreat in Costa Rica. You may want to return to school, start a business, or give kickboxing a whirl.
Before you know it, you’ll be like, “Matthew, who?”
12. Practice self-care
All that BS about getting a “revenge body” is exactly that: bullsh*t. Don’t do anything with your ex in mind because that shows you’re still missing him and not moving on. The idea that a woman is working out, eating well, and taking care of herself simply to show her ex what he’s missing is garbage. Maybe she’s working out because it makes her feel healthy and strong. Maybe she’s eating well because it gives her so much more energy. Maybe she’s taking care of herself because she finally realized she deserves more than that as*hole and is prioritizing herself.
Exercise will calm anxiety and stress and give you a great outlet for any rage you still hold onto. Eating well is a way to show yourself love and will provide you with the right fuel to do all the amazing things you want to do. Taking care of yourself is a way to offer yourself kindness and grace, which is more important than ever after a breakup when you’re feeling extra vulnerable.
And if you just so happen to look like a straight-up ten outta ten next time your ex walks past, and he’s wondering why the heck he ever let you slip through his fingers, that’s just a bonus.
13. Focus on self-improvement
Another way to stop missing your ex and move forward is to focus on self-improvement. That’s not an invitation to slip into a comparison trap with friends or influencers on Instagram. The only person you should ever be competing against is yourself.
What can you do to be one percent better than yesterday’s you?
Whether it’s taking an online course, learning how to change a tire, reading a book that helps you learn something new, re-organizing your desk or closet, trying out a new recipe, or using a piece of equipment in the gym that you always avoid. Improving yourself in small ways = growth, and it’s one of the best ways to spend your time and forget about your ex.
14. Spend time with those who love you
One of the best things you can do for yourself when you miss your ex after a breakup is to surround yourself with people who care about you, support you, and love you. You might think you want to be left alone to wallow in self-pity, and some time alone will be beneficial to process your feelings, but don’t spend too much time on your own. Your friends and family will be there to pick you back up, dry your tears, and make you laugh. So don’t be afraid to reach out when you need to.
15. Start dating again
The danger of dating too soon after a breakup is that you will rebound hard or have meaningless casual sex. And in the moment, these things might feel great and stop you from missing your ex. But in the long run, they won’t help heal your heart.
The challenging part is knowing when you are ready to date again while also knowing that a part of you will probably never feel ready. So give yourself up to six months to process and heal, and then push yourself to get back out there and start dating again. Even if you don’t meet anyone you’re romantically interested in, meeting new people and having new experiences is important and will help you move on. There are so many people in the world, and the more you meet, the more you’ll realize that losing one guy is not the end of the world.
Conclusion
Are you going through a breakup and wondering how to stop missing your ex? Have you tried any of the tips on this list? What’s working for you, and what’s not working? Do you have any tips that have helped you move forward that aren’t on the list?
It’s easy to tell someone to quit moping around and move on after a breakup, but everything is heaps harder when it’s you going through it. The wound still runs deep, you convince yourself you’ll never find happiness or love again, and even getting out of bed in the morning feels like a mission. You’d…
